Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
