No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize