im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize