Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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