I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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