pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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