The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
