I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
