The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
