Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
