Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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