everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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