Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
