If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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