He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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