Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.