Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment