he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."