NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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