So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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