wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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