If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
