I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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