I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
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if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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