good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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