help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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