He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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