why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
