they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
