i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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