Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
