how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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