I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.