So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How many fucks given?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.