I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
