Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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