He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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