she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
