$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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