New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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