You're my little dorito
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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