For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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