Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
