How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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