At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
