I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize