An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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