So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
