I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
