why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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