My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
