I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize