i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize