you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize