i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
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Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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