Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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