I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
did i walk over a car last night?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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