He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
