At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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