Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
