Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You are a genius and a whore.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
