I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
