Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize