so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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