what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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