worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
