How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
