Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
do herpes really smell.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
