help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
